But We Don’t Want Homecare...” — Why Asking for Help Matters!

I get calls like this all the time:

“We don’t want homecare, but we need help...”

Or: “My wife doesn’t want anyone in the home.”

Or: “I can do it myself — just tell me what to do over the phone.”

It’s more common than you think. People hesitate to bring help into the home — even when they are exhausted and stretched thin. And I always remind them:

It can’t be solely the loved one who needs care calling all the shots.

Why? Because caregivers burn out. Period.

When you’re the only one caring for someone 24/7, you slowly become a prisoner in your own home. Resentment builds — even when you love them dearly. And what happens if you, the caregiver, get sick or injured? Who will care for them then?

Ask yourself:

👉 How long can I keep this up without a break?

👉 What will happen to my health, my spirit, my relationships if I don’t get support?

👉 When was the last time I had downtime — a walk, lunch with a friend, church, rest?

I know the answer, because I’ve lived this journey myself. I know how it feels to become isolated, disconnected, overwhelmed. I spent years in that space — and I’m just now climbing out of it, ready to live my life again.

But here’s what I learned the hard way:

You cannot do this alone.

Finances? Yes, many families worry about that. But there are state programs, waivers, and support services that can help cover the cost — more than most people realize. You just have to ask.

I’m not writing this to advertise anything.

I’m writing this because I want you to know: you are not alone.

Homecare doesn’t have to mean someone is in your house all day. Sometimes just two hours a day can change everything. Two hours to:

✅ Rest or sleep in

✅ Go for a walk

✅ Run errands

✅ Go to church

✅ See a friend

✅ Simply breathe

These small breaks restore your health and help you show up as your best self — both for your loved one and for YOU.

So if you’re reading this and you’re feeling worn out, isolated, or afraid to ask for help — I’m here to tell you:

It’s OK to ask. It’s the first step. You deserve support.

And there are people and programs that can help.

❤️ You don’t have to walk this road alone.